If you would like to hear me finish the story, you are all true friends in my heart.
(this is a contribution, if you think you have written well, please send it to the bottom mailbox. )
anyone around me who knows a little bit about me will know what I want to write when they see this title.
put the phone face down and make the QQ invisible. My roommate has gone to bed and turned off the lights, leaving only one lamp to accompany me through the early hours of this morning.
Why am I playing LOL? Today is exactly two years and 10 days since my first day of playing this game. I never know what the tower is, and today it is the first wild game of Zhejiang University. Solo que RANK has been on the king, the Internet bar league is also let the East China division champion eat up my Pansen's suffering, Fengshen put more than 10,000 hits on Youku video. On the dormitory table, a trophy and three honorary certificates are engraved with the glory I have won in this land.
it's just that no matter how much glory there is, what doesn't shine is always the beginning of gloom.
when I was a freshman, as a player who only played CS robots, he always scoffed at MOBA online games: how to waste a good time on the obsession with "Tower".
until that day, she disappeared from my world.
so my world shakes, and before the spring of 2013, I was nowhere to be seen. In retrospect, it looks like a huge fault. The story before 2013 is like the past. Often think about, like a nightmare entanglement. Finally, like a dehydrated fish, I flopped a few times on the real chopping block and accepted the fait accompli: I was lovelorn.
from March 26, 2013 to April 30, 2013, I don't remember living in this world. Without a single class, my dearest roommates tried to comfort me at first and finally chose to give up.
until April 30th, my dear high achiever roommate in the math department said to me earnestly, "Luo Liang, I don't think you can do this either. Come and play LOL with us. It's interesting."
at that time, I was still in Zijingang and had no major. Five people in a dorm room, there are my four favorite roommates, are very good people, sometimes I came back in the middle of the night locked the door without a key, unexpectedly can get out of bed to open the door for me, I was so moved that I could not speak. There were two of them playing LOL at that time, and two of them didn't play. This time, they are also the same loyalty: "if you come to play LOL, we all play with you, five people in a dormitory, gang up is just right."
think back today, what a blessing it was to meet these four roommates. If it wasn't for them, I don't know how long I would have to swim in the sea of bitterness in 2013 before I could get ashore.
in this way, I stepped half helplessly into the summoner Canyon, the game circle that I once scoffed at.
over the past two years, I have sometimes laughed at my cowardice. Listening to EASON's song "Today next year," in which "people always learn to survive bravely, such as bearing a lovelorn," many tired nights coming out of the summoner Canyon ask myself, "do I really need to do this to stop thinking about it?" In the end, I don't know whether I lost to my infatuation or my cowardice.
it took me just over a month to change from a complete novice to a level 30 player; from knowing only one Dema to being able to remember the skills of 30 heroes; from going out without shopping to being able to choose outfits according to my match; from a man-machine player to a match player in general.
I remember clearly that when I was a rookie, I was still in the era of AP Swordsman and The Smiling、Proud Wanderer. Under the careful guidance of my roommate, I finally mastered the first hero in my life-Shan Jiansheng in AD.
in the first month, there were countless moments of excitement that I can still empathize with. During the May Day holiday, the Zijingang dormitory still had to be cut off, and Dema met his friend Jiansheng in the third set of life. In the 36th minute of that set, my notebook was automatically turned off. We were at a disadvantage at that time. For the first time in my life, I felt the ants on the hot pot. Finally, I put on a pair of shorts and ran downstairs to the hostel with the computer. Then I gave the outlet for the hairdryer and stood back into the game, attracting a lot of onlookers around me. Among them, many veterans gave me a lot of advice on costumes. Finally, in the case of three madmen out of me, the frontal battlefield withstood the pressure and succeeded in winning precious time for our Jiansheng to steal the tower, tearing down the opposite base alone.
I remember finishing that game with tears in my eyes. It is also the first time that I really don't remember the painful thing of being lovelorn. It turns out that the game can really make a person forget the tangled past and only ask for the light and shadow of the sword within 40 minutes. That game was also the root of my hard practice of AD Kensei.
after two years, I still remember vividly the madness of May Day that year. Like a veteran, he will never forget his first victory.
it used to be my two playful roommates who took our three newbies to play, and I never complained. And now, it is also 5 people to play, gradually become me a person with them 4 blood wash my opponent. At that time, my roommate was my master, he was close to the golden level that year, and I was just a rookie. And now, he is still in gold, and I have stood at the top of the ladder. I have seen the king who traded money for points, and I have also seen teammates who operate as well as professional players.
two years have passed, and I have roughly done the math. I have played more than 5000 sets of LOL altogether. Even if a disk is calculated according to half an hour, that is 150000 minutes. No wonder I was dumbfounded by watching my classmates do course programming demonstrations some time ago: it just took me 150000 minutes to study the code, and naturally I would also be a master of web programming.
May 14th, I'm going to be inThe Waterfront Lecture Hall of Zijingang Campus of Zhejiang University plays my last game this year, and the champion and runner-up will be produced between our team and the strong South Korean team. I know that this game has taken me out of the darkest years of my life, and let me once again achieve the halo and glory in another world without her. I don't know if it's lucky or sad.
in the past two years, in addition to dealing with but not failing my schoolwork, I have also grown a lot in my spare time from games. Let me put aside all the pain caused by EX and think about my feelings and many things in the world. I know that her departure is because of my immaturity, she is like fire, I am like water, fire and water are always incompatible. And I have never learned to accept the complementarity of a character in a higher realm in a relationship. In fact, those senseless quarrels, in addition to hurt the feelings of two people, who is right and who is wrong is really meaningless.
it's just that, always, she teaches you how to love, and you have to be with others. And the other person has another temperament. In this way, I call it youth.
in my heart, there are many ifs. If I don't meet her in my freshman year, which is very stressful in my schoolwork, if I can let her go to dinner alone on the last day, if I hold on a little longer, when the major is over, it will always be full of willows and flowers. Unfortunately, this time and space does not exist if.
looking back on the years before 2013, I only remember that I was cuter and thinner, studied better, had more friends, and envied me for being with her.
A year ago, I told my friend about it. I compared me at that time to an angel with a glowing halo, and then I gradually degenerated into a demon. Today, after struggling in purgatory, I finally made myself human again.
I am slowly regaining my strength and starting to regain my former vitality, meet new people and make new friends. With a new group of roommates, there are fewer and fewer people in the world who really know my past. Sometimes, looking back on the past, I will not recognize how I loved a person as the whole world, how to grieve her sorrow and rejoice in her joy.
the entanglement and repetition of day and night, from the miserable cry of ducks by the Qizhen lake in the middle of the night to the shadow cast under the plane trees in Yuquan, I finally grew up, and my eyes changed the liveliness of the past to the depth of today, and of course the occasional teasing is used for decoration. The price I paid was that I became more and more numb. Do not feel once close to her can get the heartbeat, occasionally stagnant water flutter two times, get to know a few lovely girls can also let my already frozen heart thaw a thaw, and finally return to silence.
probably the heartbeat that you can really feel at a glance in life is only an one-off. If you choose to put sugar from sweetness to sadness, you have to accept the price of sadness.
"Today next year, don't lose sleep and change the mattresses. If you are lucky enough to meet, or at your partner's wedding banquet, you will be waiting for you to appear in confusion." Today next year, without seeing you for a year, who is willing to change, leave you for 60 years, hope to recognize your children, parting can also hear you say goodbye. "
when I wrote these bitter words a year ago, I ended up drowning in my tears. Slowly, with the improvement of the LOL Rank, the wound in my heart heals slowly. I'm not afraid to sprinkle salt, but I just can't talk about it with a smile.
people live to a few years old is short, lovelorn is only shorter, forget my grudge with you, cherry blossoms bloom a few times. Some people have been here for a while, but I have to miss it for the rest of my life.
this is probably the story of LOL and me, the story of my life.
only a handful of my beloved readers have known me from August 2012 to April 2013. So in the end, I packed up the joys and sorrows, put them in the depths of the F disk, and then chose to hide the folder. After all, life goes on.
A lot of people say that sometimes it's hard to see me clearly, and writers and artists don't know what I'm going to say. In fact, every literature and art interprets the hidden folder from one angle, like the infinite gems in Marvel Universe. As long as I touch it, inspiration and pain will run through my body at the same time.
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Today is the first time I have tried to open this black hole head-on. At this point, I feel relieved as scheduled.
so in fact, as long as you read every word of me, you will know that literature and art is only a kind of self-abuse in disguise and a kind of self-therapy. There is a dead person living in my heart, which will eventually become a pair of armor, and I will walk through the world without her from now on.