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there is a saying in Xunzi:
the ancients believed that benevolence, righteousness and propriety are good at people, just as property and food are as important to the family.
benevolence, righteousness, courtesy and kindness is education.
if there is no material support, there is no guarantee of life, and people without education are doomed to move forward.
upbringing has nothing to do with birth, education, wealth and status, but it can affect our lives more than the above external conditions.
upbringing is a kind of respect
some people say: "raising poor and rich is the most expensive."
I think so.
No matter how good the external conditions are, the spirit of uneducated people is barren.
such people, the higher their status, the more defiant they are; the more powerful they are, the more aggressive they are.
No one knows that the higher an ill-bred person stands, the worse he falls.
there were stars who were spurned by the public for being ill-bred in the program.
at that time, she and several celebrity guests followed the cultural relics restorers to visit the cultural relics.
everyone was in awe, only with her eyes, not by hand, but she hastily picked up the cultural relics and went her own way, and her words were full of disdain:
behind her understatement, she highlighted not only her shallow understanding of cultural relics, but also her disdain for other people's labor achievements.
later, the matter was pushed to the forefront of public opinion, and she had to admit her mistake and apologize amid a flood of curses.
not using one-sided cognition to make excuses for one's own mistakes is respect for others and even more noble upbringing.
born as a human being, one can only go further with respect.
as the ancients said, "A gentleman is like jade, and his tentacles are warm."
there is great knowledge in dealing with the world, and the kindness of those who push themselves and others is often the result of long-term self-examination and self-study.
upbringing is a kind of magnanimity
Chen Shi said: "the potential cannot be used, and the blessing cannot be enjoyed." Don't do all the work, don't say all the words. "
in dealing with others, one step back in everything is tantamount to leaving room for yourself.
A man's tolerance of humility is not only his magnanimity, but also his upbringing.
in Sima Qian's Historical Records, there is a classic story about magnanimity:
as an envoy to the State of Qin, Lin Xiangru, who "returned to Zhao", was sealed as a "doctor" and later rescued the king of Zhao at the meeting of Qianchi.
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all this, Lian Po sees it in his eyes and hates it in his heart: as a veteran with high achievements, his official position is not as good as that of Lin Xiangru!
later, he said to everyone, "Lin Xiangru, if I saw him, he would be severely humiliated."
this word spread to Lin Xiangru, who took into account the overall situation of the country and deliberately asked for leave to avoid friction with him.
when Lian Po learned of this, he felt very guilty and apologized to him.
as a civil servant, Lin Xiangru knows very well that if she argues with Lianpo, she will naturally have the upper hand in words.
but precisely because this is meaningless, it will worsen the relationship between the two, which is not conducive to the development of the country.
therefore, in the face of Lianpo's jealousy and hatred, Lin Xiangru chose not to see him for the time being, not cowardice and incompetence, but self-cultivation and wisdom, magnanimity and breeding.
and Lian Po's ability to correct his mistakes is also a valuable virtue.
as the ancients said, "A gentleman can bear what others cannot bear, tolerate what they cannot tolerate, and do what they cannot do."
the sea accepts all rivers, so it is big enough to be tolerant of others and tolerant of the world.
upbringing is a moral character
there is a saying that
the so-called politeness is only one of the forms of upbringing.
it's just an external expression, and people can disguise it with a little practice.
just as some people are polite to others outside, go home, but speak harshly to their parents.
there are a lot of hypocrites who are inconsistent in appearance, so that's why we say: "know people, know faces, but don't know hearts" and "people are unpredictable".
in the final analysis, upbringing is a person's character.
I have read a story:
when a graduate came to the company to apply for a job, he found that the academic qualifications and various conditions of the first few candidates were superior to them, and he thought he was hopeless, but he went in for an interview.
as soon as he entered, he found a piece of rubbish on the ground, so he picked it up and threw it into the dustbin.
at the end of the interview, he did not expect that his effort would allow him to get this job with a very high threshold.
people with high academic qualifications are not necessarily educated, because knowledge and practice often take a long time before they can be "integrated".
educated people, even if their external conditions are not as good as those of others, may turn against the wind because of their character.
the degree of education determines the thickness of character, which is enough to determine the height of life.
what is upbringing?
upbringing is a kind of respect and goodwill;
upbringing is a kind of magnanimity and a measure of leniency to others;
upbringing is not only a kind of moral character, but also a lofty personality charm.
the upbringing is invisible, but it is deeper than the heart, navigating for life day after day, determining our ending and the other shore.