To resent others is to hurt yourself.
Good morning, accompany you to read.
A favorite saying is, "all the people you meet in your life are here to ferry you."
in the person who makes you happy, realize it; in the person who makes you suffer, let it go.
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when people live in the world, we will inevitably be hurt and betrayed.
forgiveness and hatred are only a matter of thought.
Let go of other people's mistakes, get the relief of the heart, resent others, can only get endless torture.
resenting others will eventually hurt yourself
there is such a short story.
8-year-old Paco came home from school angrily. As soon as he saw his father, he shouted, "Dad, I'm very angry." Today, my classmate Huajin embarrassed me in front of my friends. I hope he has more bad luck than me. "
after hearing this, the father said nothing but dragged his son to a room, hung a white shirt with a rope, and gave him some charcoal.
"now you think of that dress as Joaquin, and you can throw as much charcoal as you think of him until you are satisfied."
Paco was so happy that he immediately picked up the charcoal and smashed it hard on his clothes.
but the clothes hung too high, and no matter how hard Paco tried, few pieces of charcoal fell on the clothes.
after Paco finished throwing it, he felt that his anger was almost over, and his father took Paco to the mirror:
"son, no matter how angrily you throw charcoal at your clothes, your clothes don't get dirty. Instead, it's you, covered with charcoal dust. When others make mistakes to you, the damage is only temporary, but you always refuse to let go and always want revenge, and in the end it is yourself who will be tortured. "
in fact, the little story is full of the philosophy of life.
in many cases, resentment against others will eventually be paid for by yourself.
watch the TV series "Hello!" When "Mother", I always feel sorry for Ding Biyun played by Dong Jie.
when she was bent on marrying her husband Fu Qiang, she cheated on her husband after marriage. Ding Biyun divorced in anger and lived alone with her children.
because she holds a grudge against her ex-husband, she distances herself from her ex-husband and does not even allow her ex-husband to visit his children.
in this way, life is much harder.
because of years of hard work and depression, Ding Biyun finally got breast cancer and died.
in life, there are actually many people like Ding Biyun.
originally they could put aside their past grudges and welcome a happier and easier life, but they let their lives fall into a quagmire because of obsession.
Oscar Wilde said, "I must forgive some people for my own sake." For a man cannot keep a serpent in his breast forever, nor can he get up every night and plant thorns in the garden of his soul. "
although time can not go back to make up for the injury at that time, time will always become the cure for everything.
the best way to treat yourself is to put it down when it's time to put it down and learn to look forward.
letting others go is also letting go of oneself
Mo Yan mentioned the most painful thing in his life in his speech "storyteller".
he said that when he was a child, he once followed his mother to pick up ears of wheat in the fields. The caretakers of the wheat fields came, and the people who picked up ears of wheat fled one after another.
but my mother, with her little feet bound, could not run fast and was caught, and the tall watchman slapped her in the face.
then they confiscated the ears of wheat that Mo Yan and his mother had worked so hard to pick up and whistled away.
the strength of the caretaker, the lonely figure of the mother and the bleeding corners of the mouth have left a great psychological shadow on Mo Yan.
many years later, the caretaker of the wheat field had become a white-haired old man. Mo Yan once met him at the market and was about to rush to teach him a lesson, but he was held back by his mother.
Mother shook her head firmly at him: "son, the man who hit me is not the same person as this old man."
Mo Yan stood in the same place, and immediately understood his mother's painstaking efforts.
the person is actually the same person, but it has already passed.
it took a long time to understand the patience and wisdom of this old woman in the countryside.
Old injuries, if torn repeatedly, will only fester day by day.
A lot of times, when you let others go, you don't let yourself go.
in Beijing many years ago, an 88-year-old woman told us in Putonghua with a slight Hefei accent that having a happy life is actually very simple:
first, don't punish yourself for your own mistakes;
second, don't punish others for your mistakes;
third, don't punish yourself for other people's mistakes.
this old lady is Zhang Zhaohe.
once she and Shen Congwen fell in love with each other, but they ended up regretting for the rest of their lives.
looking back on half of her life, there were quarrels, betrayals, warmth and mediocrity, and finally she chose to be relieved.
No matter how strong the love and hatred in life, it will eventually be washed away by time, and life is too short, so why cling to the mistakes of the past.
as Carnegie wrote in his book: "We have lived in the world for only a few decades, but we have wasted a lot of time worrying about the past, what a terrible loss."
when people live to a certain age, they eventually learn to clean up the past and let love and hate be random.
carrying a heavy past, it will only slow you down.
only by tolerating the faults of others can we get the liberation of the heart.
the ability to forgive othersFree myself
there was a question on the Internet that impressed me: what's the difference between "forgive" and "forget it"?
someone replied: to forgive is to reconcile with others; forget it, it is to reconcile with yourself.
sinking in the mud of hatred will only make you sink deeper and deeper.
once upon a time there was a woman who always had strange dreams.
there is a dark house in the dream, in which many people are locked up. They scream and howl in the house day after day.
because it is difficult to sleep every night, the woman's health is getting worse day by day. She goes to the hospital, and many doctors are at a loss.
until one day, she met a Zen master, who gave her a key and said, "next time you have this dream, open the lock with the key and let everyone out of the house."
in her dream, the woman unlocked the black house with the key given by the Zen master, and the people inside came out of the house one by one.
it turns out that these people are all people who have hurt her.
until the last person came out, the woman burst into tears.
that person is herself.
there is a good saying, "people live in the world, in fact, the one who can really hurt you is not others, but yourself."
whatever you care about, you are bothered by what you hate, you are bound by what you hate.
Life is less than a hundred years, melancholy is a day, happiness is also a day.
instead of dwelling on the past, it is better to focus on the future, forget hatred, and live in the present.
there is a saying in Cai Gentan: not to blame the villain, not to be private, not to think about the old evil, the three can cultivate virtue and harm far away.
if you care about everything, you will become more and more narrow-minded; if you learn to let go, life will be clear and vast.
the most important thing in life is to live the present and focus on your life.