Three hurdles of qualified parents: parent-child relationship, cultivation of habits and sound personality

Three hurdles of qualified parents: parent-child relationship, cultivation of habits and sound personality

Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.

musician Beethoven once said, "I don't know what is more sacred than raising a child as an adult."

parents are the guides on the way of their children's life, and their sentiment, reason and self-cultivation directly affect their children.

but there is no template, no standard, only attentiveness in educating children.

if parents can do the following three things well, then the education will be more than half successful.


educator teacher Zhang Wenchang once said: "A good parent-child relationship is the premise of family education."

means that there must be a close, friendly and harmonious parent-child relationship between parents and children. only in this way can the child trust you and identify with you, and the education you give to the child is effective.

Professor Li Meijin once shared a story:

there was a father who was very capable and saved millions of dollars through several years of hard work.

but when he got home, he found that his son had grown up and was always playing truant and causing trouble.

Father began to want to take care of it, but he had no control at all.

when he heard that there was an expert who could "save" the child, he immediately took the child to the expert, took out 100,000 yuan and said, "this child is yours, and you are responsible for educating him well."

Professor Li Meijin commented:

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"the poor father should take 100000 yuan as his salary and stop everything. His son may still be saved.

but my father has to accompany him in person and can't give him to anyone else. "

Yes, the first few years of a child's life is an important period for establishing a parent-child relationship with his parents.

once this critical period is missed, children subconsciously leave a label of alienation and indifference to their parents, and naturally do not want to obey discipline from the bottom of their heart.

if parents want to change this situation, parents should give their children high-quality companionship.

when getting along with children, parents must be emotionally supportive, caring in life, helping in learning, and adopting a "three-pronged approach".

when communicating with children, parents should be more positive and encouraged, less sarcastic and sarcastic, more understanding and tolerant, less critical and complaining.

as the psychologist Alison Gopnik said:

"who you are and how you relate to your children are much more important than what you do to them."

the essence of parenting is to maintain a good parent-child relationship.

only when the emotional connection in the parent-child relationship is in place, can the child develop positively in all aspects of study, life and social interaction in the future.

Fostering good habits

is the key to children's future success

the result of life, is the sum of countless habits, the power of habits is beyond our imagination.

Ye Shengtao, a famous educator, said: "Education is to cultivate excellent habits."

0-6 years old is the golden period to cultivate children's habits. At this time, children's brain function is more plastic and it is easy to accept new things and form habits. Parents can grasp the cultivation of children's habits from these three aspects.

1. The habit of exercise

Professor Li Meijin once said, "if you want your child to be braver, let him exercise at the age of 4."

exercise can not only make children physically stronger and reduce mental illness, but also promote their brain development, make their thinking more flexible and learn more efficiently.

when we cultivate children's exercise habits, we should also follow the law of children's growth and development:

3-5 years old, preschool children's large muscles develop rapidly and are suitable for activities such as cycling. Exercise the coordination of children's hands, eyes and feet;

5-7 years old, belong to the slow development stage, you can choose sports with less physical exertion, such as swimming, etc.

when children aged 8-12 years old, their strength, speed and endurance are improved, and they can choose badminton, tennis, dancing and so on.

as parents, we must let their children take part in more sports, because the quality of their life is not only limited to the thin report card, but also lies in the dynamic and creative physical exercise.

2. The habit of loving reading

Sukhomlinski once said: "A child who does not like reading is a potential poor student in study."

Reading is the best way for children to learn for life. A child who loves reading has a rich heart, independent thoughts and broad horizons.

if parents often enjoy reading with books, their children will also be hungry for knowledge.

at the same time, parents must create a reading scene with books everywhere, on the sofa, on the desk, at the bedside table, to create a scholarly atmosphere for their children and attract them to indulge in the ocean of reading.

3. Habit of self-discipline

Theodore Roosevelt once said:

there is a quality that makes a person stand out from the mediocrity of mediocrity. This quality is not talent, education, IQ, but self-discipline. "

the height of a child's future life is closely related to self-discipline.

helping children understand and manage their time is the first step in developing the habit of self-discipline.

parents can work with their children to make a schedule, what time to get up, what time to eat, what time to read and what time to go to bed. In addition, a 30% gap should be left so that children can control freely.

parents' leading by example is the second step in helping their children develop the habit of self-discipline.

if parents always play with their cell phones after work, sleep in on weekends and play mahjong in their spare time, don't yearn for how self-disciplined their children can be.

the habit is not formed overnight, it depends on the superposition of the meaning of parents' careful supervision and children's careful practice.

can be used toWhen it comes to cultivation, everything is full of hardship.

parents help their children sow one more habit, and their children will reap one more achievement in the future.

A sound personality

is the foundation of a child's lifelong happiness

once, teacher Xu Kaiwen, Ph.D. in Psychology, Peking University, gave a speech entitled "the Economics of empty Heart and anxiety in the Times" hit the moments.

the article said that "40% of the freshmen at Peking University think that it is meaningless to live" and "30% of the students at Peking University are tired of learning." he called this situation "empty heart disease":

empty heart disease refers to the psychological disorder caused by the defect of values. the symptom is to feel that life is meaningless, feel very confused about life, do not know what they want, the most extreme way is to give up on themselves.

Why is it that the better the child is, the more likely he is to "get sick"?

in the final analysis, everyone is so sensitive to scores that scores become the only measure of a person's success or failure, and children's outlook on life and values are distorted under this pressure.

We are always teaching our children to learn hard how to succeed and how to sprint to become the first place, but we don't tell them how to get up when they fall down, how to deal with their wounds, how to accomplish the little things in life, and how to set their own goals in life when they are confused.

Family is the first place for children to learn, and parents are the first responsible person for their growth.

the education that parents give their children should not only be instilled with a large amount of knowledge, but also be judged by their achievements. More importantly, children need to have a sound personality, gentle character and a good heart.

We can try to cultivate children's sound personality from the following three aspects:

1. Respect the independent personality of children

No matter how young children are, they have the same equal and independent personality as we do. parents should know how to respect their children, listen to their needs, and accept their imperfections.

when children grow up slowly, they should cultivate their ability to be independent, do not overdo everything, and return the right of self-choice to their children.

when children make mistakes, do not criticize them in public, pay attention to their emotional feelings, and maintain their self-esteem.

parents who respect their children will be more respected by their children, which makes education have a good start.

2. Teach children to be optimistic

optimistic children are rich in heart, do not give up easily in the face of setbacks, and have a good peace of mind in the face of success and failure.