Doing all you can,to be a better man
the thing I don't want to talk about is friends.
"you are not my friend." I told him bluntly not to prove how aloof I am, but if I really thought so and the other person didn't care too much about it, I would be willing to tell him what I really thought.
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Don't tell me to call friends if I can be together. I'm sorry, I haven't had this idea since I was a child.
maybe he was too poisoned by Chen Haonan and Hong Kong films such as "Hero" and "Night in Mong Kok" since childhood, and the concept of "respecting righteousness" was deeply ingrained. He suffered a lot of dumb losses and was beaten by reality for several times. But you asked me if I could let go of this idea now. I'm sorry, but I may hold on to it until I die.
I was ill last week. From 09:00 in the evening on the first day to 07:00 in the morning on the third day, I got up and took a bath. I almost fainted in the bathroom. I even ate a few mouthfuls of porridge lying down. After one o'clock in the morning on the third day, I stared at the ceiling and randomly heard "can't help" in my headphones: "the most powerful accomplice and most attentive teammate in the world, just give me a glass of spirits and trust me." this was my credo in high school. I suddenly remembered that a friend in the third year of high school handed me a note one morning, which read: you and I have their own ups and downs, and we must fight alone. At that time, it was the sprint stage, and because I didn't like reading and rules, I wanted to knock down all the books at my desk countless times, and shouted "Fuck it" and walked away handsome. I thought about this word for a long time, although I knew it was just what this friend wrote casually on the draft paper when he was extremely bored. Maybe he just wanted to show me how much better his handwriting was than mine. Maybe he just shared with me that he heard the song at random, or maybe he just wanted me to throw away the draft paper, but he probably didn't know that I carefully tiled the note and sandwiched it in the book. Saved to this day.
I always don't want to let my friends know that they are too close to them, personality reasons, these years there are always people whom they value very much because of their seemingly indifferent misunderstandings. Many times I pick up the phone and want to call them, there are too many things I want to say, but I always feel that others may not care why I always bump into them. At this time, I would hope to receive a call from them when I pick up my phone and put it down. Even if I no longer mention it in the past, I will be moved to tears by asking "what are you doing?" However, this kind of thing never seems to happen. Maybe when I pick up the phone and put it down, the other person will also pick it up and put it down. Our tacit understanding can only be reflected here. It is not without reason that friends are drifting apart.
if one day I called you, or I went to find you, I must have really hit a pole and couldn't hold on.
just like the night I got sick, I suddenly thought of several friends. When I woke up the next morning, before I could fully stand up, I already packed my bags and ran to the station (if the dormitory was not closed the night before last, I would probably have left in the middle of the night). Passing the bus, bus, light rail, bus, taxi, airport express, I saw four friends smoothly and suddenly attacked them in the way of prank and surprise, which scared them pretty much. Some of them have not been seen for two months, some for half a year, and the longest one year, not seen since graduation. In the past few days with them, I can't even walk steadily and cross the street slowly. When I eat, I put down the chopsticks after counting the rice grains to ten, and then silently pick up the chopsticks and count them to ten in the contemptuous eyes of my friends. It was hard for me to feel a cold sweat in the middle of the night in my room. I was afraid to say, but I only admitted that I couldn't sleep in the dark, so they ran across a building to sleep on the sofa at 03:30 in the morning, which made me firmly believe in and moved by the deep revolutionary feelings of our three years of high school.
when you meet some members of the opposite sex, you will drink desperately, while friends will tell you that you can drink, but until you have a drink or two, you don't have to worry about drinking with them, because it's okay to get drunk. You don't have to worry about where they're taking you.
We slept in the street late at night, simply bought two bottles of wine, sat on the street bench and looked up at the bright moon in the sky, pulling from the south to the north, and the crisp sound of the collision between the bottle and the bottle reminded me of a sentence in Ode to Youth: remember to share every night with the most beautiful people.
We went to the uninhabited seaside in the early morning, singing loudly on the sand and stepping on the waves, looking at the stars and lights in the distance, and the sea breeze was coming.
We don't have to go to high-end restaurants to eat and take pictures of all kinds of costumes. We can just wear slippers and sit at the roadside stall with crayfish and beer, gibberish, any little thing of the past, we can recall and talk for half an hour.
We played the Beatles on the road in the middle of the night with shoes and bare feet. The Beatles were almost arrested as a psychopath.
as a matter of fact, I haven't seen you for so long. I go through their own lives and worry about their troubles. I don't understand what you're talking about, and I don't know the people you know, and I can't empathize with what's on your mind. That's what I think of friends. As conveyed in "Love can't help", I can't help you through the low ebb of the company, and I can't bear the feeling of bitter love for you. I can't fall for you, because the reality is to cross the river on your own. You and I have their own ups and downs, and we have to fight alone. However, it will be me who will stand by your side, and I will be the one who will sit with you all night. I can't help you. But the most important thing is to be with you.
on the bus back across the highway, I thought for a long time that I had too much to say and felt too hypocritical. I thought of rubberband's "Heart for Life": the crowd had never been afraid to catch up with the magnificent sunset one day to relax the wine and hum to lose the tune.
although I didn't walk through the fire in the mountain for you, I think that no matter how many forms of gossip, it is not worth the attention of you and me for a lifetime.
so you ask me what is a friend, in fact, the standard is in your heart, and I think, you don't have to go through difficulties together to call a friend, you don't have to be together to call a friend, you don't have to be around all the time to call a friend, it's one day you need a word, I will come at the first time when I can't make it, one day when I can't make it, you'll open your hands and let me take refuge, and you'll tell me: if you're not happy, don't fight.
I will feel that if I go back, if I am not happy, it will be a debt to you. The biggest motivation for me to fight here is to know that you are doing the same thing as me on the other side. Strong enough to fight again, only because you stand behind you.
when I was young and ignorant, I tried to quarrel with friends and lock myself in the bathroom and burst into tears. I tried to ride a bike for several kilometers at noon on a hot summer day to restore a friendship. I tried a group of people who called each other enemies and went their own way. At that time, I always care that I take you so seriously, do you attach equal importance to me? At that time, I thought a lot about the definition of true friend, frustration and confusion every day. Later, I realized that all this is really superfluous, and you don't need to measure a true friend at all. when he stands beside you, you know that he is a friend, you can relax, laugh happily and laugh at will, make a smelly face when you are sad, and there is no need to avoid speaking.
along the way, I have met countless friends, some of whom have been in a hurry to accompany you; some are as light as water and have little contact with each other; and some, as mentioned above, live their own lives but follow their hearts for the rest of their lives.
I don't want you to know that I care about you so much, so I hope you won't read this article.