Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
many people don't know the true meaning of poor children and rich daughters. Think that boys should be strict, give less money to spend, girls should give more money to buy good things.
but in fact--
raising a son in poverty is an investment in a boy's life;
raising a daughter is an investment in cultural accomplishment.
what they have in common is to cultivate the baby's self-confidence, self-reliance and wisdom.
there have always been more ladies than rich ladies, and since ancient times there has been a rich man and a handsome man.
so "poor boys and rich girls" has become the "golden rule" of traditional parenting.
the true meaning of "poor" raising a boy
as parents must be clear: now the son suffers "suffering", and only when he grows up will he become a "rich" person and become a real man!
for every boy, no matter they grow up or mature, they all need to be self-reliant and self-reliant, need to assume more responsibilities, need to face greater difficulties, and need to make unremitting self-struggle.
it can be said that the growth and maturity of successful men is a process of constant challenge and hard struggle.
perhaps, many people think that "poor" raising a boy is to control the child's expenses, do not give him too much enjoyment, so as not to spoil him, this understanding is more one-sided, which is different from what we call "poor" raising.
We believe that the more important significance of "poverty" in raising boys lies in the value brought to children by honing, exercising and cultivating their will, character, character and mentality through the personal experience of "poverty" and "hardship".
without such a process, boys are very easy to develop the habit of profligacy, greedy for enjoyment, fragile and incompetent, irresponsible and ignorant of the true feelings of the world.
for example, when some urban pupils hear that there are children in rural areas who do not have enough to eat, they are surprised to ask, "Why don't you eat chocolate when you are hungry?"
this is reminiscent of the dementia emperor Emperor Jin Hui in history. The world was in chaos and the people were hungry. What he said was: "Why not eat minced meat?"
how can such a boy face the test of life in the future? They will be eliminated by society sooner or later.
as the old saying goes, "difficulties and hardships make you successful." If a boy wants to become a talent and does not avoid "difficulties and hardships", he can be "Yu Cheng".
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Let the boy get close to the "rich" prematurely and avoid the "poor". It seems to love him, but it is harmful to him.
therefore, boys must be tempered in the necessary "poverty" and "hardship", and know how to be proud of hard struggle and ashamed of extravagance and idleness.
of course, when we talk about "poor" raising boys here, we do not mean that boys should eat bran-pharynx vegetables, remember bitter memories and think sweetly, so that boys can endure unnecessary inhuman torture and suffering.
but let parents reduce the pampering and arranged replacement of boys, let boys have more experience and exercise from an early age, and cultivate their tenacious and tenacious character.
to sum up, "poor" raising boys can be understood and grasped mainly from the following aspects:
Let boys live a "hard life"
A rich material life and a lot of money for children is the number one killer of children.
some people joke that children have a lot of money, not only to buy back pleasure, ease and work, but also to buy back prison carts and prisons.
the economy has taken off, and parents with bulging pockets spend money on raising their children. There is nothing wrong with this. It can create good learning conditions and environment for them, but they must not be given too extravagant material comforts.
otherwise, it's not too late to save your money and give it to your son when he grows up and has a normal view of money.
for the sake of his son's positive efforts, for his son to develop the virtue of thrift, and for his son not to be full and think bad, it is better to let him live a "poor life".
Let the boy experience frustration
the flowers in the greenhouse can not withstand the storm.
the concept of loving son, which is contained in the mouth and held in the hand, will make the boy not strong-willed, poor psychological endurance, and go to extremes at the slightest discomfort or frustration.
frustration will inspire the boy to be brave and face the difficulties positively.
as a parent, we must let our son suffer "setbacks" and encourage him to overcome and overcome it.
Let boys learn to live independently
"reach out your clothes and open your mouth" and "do everything", which is a big taboo for educating people.
it is inconceivable that many college students cannot cook, wash clothes or fold quilts.
can such a man accept the challenges of society? Can you be creative?
therefore, parents should teach children as soon as possible and let them do what they can on their own.
it is inevitable for people to take care of themselves, be able to do housework, cook and work independently.
Let boys suffer some grievances
Boys must learn to be strong and properly aggrieved, so that they will have a deeper understanding of life.
when a son has done something wrong, it is necessary for parents to give him appropriate criticism and punishment. Even if he is aggrieved, it is a strategy for educating people.
such children, after experiencing a variety of emotional experiences, have less rebellious psychology, strong psychological tolerance, mental health, and are easy to achieve great things.
Let boys learn to take responsibility
responsibility is a "badge" on a man's shoulder. It makes a man more attractive because he dares to take responsibility and does not shirk his responsibility.
therefore, parents should educate boys with a sense of responsibility from an early age, so that they can take on the dual responsibilities of family and society in the future and become upright men.
Let boys be more optimistic and loving
optimistic attitude and kind love are essential qualities for a mature and excellent man.
so, parentsIt is necessary to guide the child in different ways, wipe off the dirt on the child's mind, eliminate the selfishness in the child's heart, and let the child grow into an optimistic, cheerful, kind and sincere person.
every parent loves his son, but love can be divided into "little love" and "big love".
the practice of blindly doting on a son is "little love", while that kind of "poor" raising a son is the real "big love."
Love is boundless. Only with this kind of education can a boy grow into a healthy, happy, excellent and outstanding man.
the real connotation of "rich" raising a girl
the main meaning of raising a girl is to cultivate her temperament, broaden her horizons, increase her ability to read the world, and enhance her knowledge.
A "well-nourished" girl knows exactly what she wants and what is really worth pursuing because she is knowledgeable, independent, independent and wise.
when she is as old as a flower, she will not be easily seduced by the prosperity and vanity of the floating world.
the most important quality a girl should cultivate is understanding. She has a good character, can control her emotions, is grateful to those who help her, and is an elegant lady.
encourage-- encourage upbringing instead of modestly raising
A girl's mother once wrote to me: there are too many and complicated ways to educate girls. Is there any "perfect", "simplest" and "easiest way to master" so that my lazy mother can smoothly guide her daughter to grow into an excellent woman?
my answer is this: it must be "encouraged".
one of my students, a 13-year-old girl, once wrote in her diary:
compared with boys, girls live in a relationship world, and they need affirmation and recognition from others. They need someone to push her in the back.
for them, the affirmation and approval of others and the help of others are the source of their own self-confidence, independence, strength and pursuit of excellence.
in the process of growing up, one more word of encouragement and one more act of encouragement will often create the miracle of education.
of course, "encouraging support" rather than "humility" requires that we often say and do
"daughter, Mom and Dad love you very much."
"Mom and Dad believe you."
"in the eyes of your parents, you are the best."
hold your daughter in your arms when she is sad; pat her on the shoulder when she is timid; often give her a bright smile when she is melancholy; and whisper quietly with her daughter when she is all right.
Don't say, don't do:
"Why do you always do wrong things?"
"and × × ratio, you are really far behind."
"I really don't expect you to have any success with such a performance."
the second "rich connotation" of the healthy growth of
girls is love, which comes from the love of their parents.
but, parents and friends? I want to ask you: do you choose the right way to love? Let's first test our "degree of love" with such a short story.
Story of doting: a mother said to her daughter that she had a conflict with her neighbor's children. "it's all his fault, which made my baby hurt and never play with him again."
Love story: a daughter has a conflict with a neighbor's child, and a mother says to her daughter, "Let's forgive xx. He shared his toy with you the other day."
what is true "love"? What is excessive "love"-doting?
how do you deal with the same thing that happens to you?
I think at this time, every parent already has his own answer-if you do not want to cultivate a delicate, unreasonable, or even bossy "little princess", you should put an end to "doting".
so, what kind of love is "love"? In my opinion, love is to use light, warmth, conviction and optimism.
these happy words occupy the girl's original, weakest and purest heart, turn them into the faith of a girl's life, and make her world full of love and happiness.
raise responsibly instead of letting nature take its course
A female friend of mine who has known each other for more than 10 years is always full of grievances when she talks to me about her mother:
growing up, my mother doesn't care about anything. When my sister got married, she said, "I don't agree with this marriage. If you regret it, don't come to me, and don't blame me."
when I went to college, she also said, "you can apply for whatever you like. Don't ask me."
results now, my sister's married life is very unhappy, and what she hates most is her mother. When I think of what she said, I also want to fall in love.
every time I think of my friend's words, I think deeply about the question: why does my daughter, who is supposed to be more intimate and intimate with her mother, have no feelings for her mother?
after thinking about it, I have to admit the fact that my parents really did something wrong.
parents' fault is that they let nature take its course and lack a "responsible" attitude towards the upbringing of girls.
what is this responsible attitude? It is-- you have to do something for your daughter's growth.
the girl is introverted and even has some inferiority complex. Parents "help": take your daughter to socialize, encourage her, praise her, and give her confidence. )
Girls have few hobbies and have no special skills. (parents "help": take your daughter to the instrument shop and dance school to guide and cultivate her hobbies. )