Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
it is often said that good people will be rewarded and good people will live a long life.
but the reality is always sad.
in the movie Fanghua, there is a typical example of "good people are not rewarded", called Liu Feng.
he is a "good man" in the secular sense from beginning to end, before and after, kind and simple.
when he eats in the canteen, he chooses hard-won dumplings that no one wants to eat, cedars hard-won college education opportunities to those who need them more, and builds a pair of sofas overnight for his married comrades-in-arms to save money.
he was enthusiastically called "living Lei Feng" and was selected as a "pacesetter" for years.
Ke Man is a contradictory and secular animal, and when self-interest is not involved, everyone is willing to praise good people.
if these illusory titles enable good people to continue to "do good" and "good", the number of people who vote for it may reach 80%.
when one day, Liu Feng confessed to Lin Dingding, the girl he loved, and couldn't help hugging her, he was bumped into by his comrade-in-arms, and his first reaction was: Liu Feng, you dare to corrupt living Lei Feng.
when Lin Dingding heard this, he was afraid that his innocence would be destroyed, so he took the initiative to report Liu Feng, saying that he was "playing hooligans."
later, Liu Feng was ordered to leave the art troupe, and on the day he left, no one came to see him off except he Xiaoping, who was linked to the same illness. In the end, he was reduced to a poor peddler, and none of his comrades-in-arms who had received favors could lend a hand.
in the past, what everyone called "good" became self-preservation, sitting on the case and watching the fire.
Yan Geling, the author of the original work, said: "Liu Feng is an excess of kindness."
We always think that there are more such things as virtue, such as kindness, such as sincerity.
but human nature is complex, so you must always give yourself a way back.
excess kindness is like giving without a bottom line, squeezing your energy dry again and again, and when there is no use value, it will become "scum" that can be abandoned or abandoned easily.
this is to start a fire, and it is stupid and unaware of it.
in fact, the true kindness is full of wisdom. Is to give a helping hand to the world, but also to protect themselves from being hijacked in good faith, not kidnapped by morality, not betrayed by human nature.
Maugham said that
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man is not a pure good or evil individual, and when he tries his best to give tenderness to the world, he should keep some for himself.
look at this cartoon: you cut the rope and they are kicking the stool under your feet.
if a person is good enough to be unreserved, the other person dares to be unscrupulous.
I think of a past story that my friend Lao Liu and I talked about.
Old Liu had an old classmate who wanted to buy a new house when he got married. He begged him to borrow 300000 yuan. Lao Liu was also going to buy a house. When he thought that his old classmate's family was really poor, it was also for the sake of marriage, so he lent the money and offered to waive the interest.
two years later, the old classmate had a child and borrowed 50,000 from Lao Liu, saying that the child had too many places to spend money. Lao Liu couldn't bear to lend it out again.
then I lent another 80,000 yuan in bits and pieces.
over the past few years, it was not easy for Lao Liu to read about his old classmates, and he never asked for money.
but just last year, Lao Liu started a business and had a cash flow problem, so he mentioned the matter of repayment with his old classmates.
the old classmate answered it, but never took any action. Lao Liu was in a hurry, so he returned 100000, saying that he couldn't take out any more.
Lao Liu thought he was really out of money, so he stopped chasing him, but in a twinkling of an eye, he heard that the old classmate had bought a new Mercedes-Benz, worth more than 300,000 yuan.
Lao Liu went to his old classmate for an explanation. The old classmate faltered at first, but when Lao Liu kept talking about him, the old classmate began to be overbearing: "you have become a boss, do you still need that little money?" Besides, I gave you 100000 back. Why can't I buy a car?
Lao Liu was dumbfounded.
years of education tells us that when friends are in trouble, they have to help generously, be kind and treat people sincerely, we also think that good intentions will be rewarded, and good people will always be treated by heaven.
it is easier to remember grudges than to fight for grudges.
it's like the story that Mo Yan once told:
on the Mid-Autumn Festival, their family made a rare meal of dumplings with only one bowl per person.
while eating dumplings, an old man begging came to their door.
Mo Yan sent him away with half a bowl of dried sweet potatoes, but the beggar said angrily, "I am an old man. You eat dumplings, but let me eat dried sweet potatoes." How do your hearts grow? "
Bo Bonnie said that kindness is very precious, but kindness does not grow teeth, that is weakness.
the more precious things are, the more they cannot be abused, and the more they cannot be protected.
there are always people in the world who take an inch, and there are always people who use all kinds of naming virtues to kidnap your moral sense.
if you can't take up arms to defend the interests you should have, kindness is a self-shaping disaster.
there is a line in the movie Blacklist:
there are many stories about people being bullied and horses being ridden from ancient times to the present, and what we can do is not to be held hostage by despicable people, nor to be swallowed by despicable colors, and to always keep an original heart, that is, to be kind in a measured way and stick to it with a bottom line.
for example, when it is difficult for a friend to borrow money, he should help, but the IOU, interest, and repayment time should be clearly written. When the time comes, ask if you haven't received the loan. There is nothing embarrassing and there is nothing difficult to say.
We can be kind to a person, but we can't be soft-hearted without boundaries, unprincipled benevolence, let alone overflowing with compassion, wronging ourselves again and again to fulfill others.
remember this equation:
goodness, stupidity, cowardice, bad people, delight others, suffer losses, be bullied, cannot fight back, can only choose to forgive
being kind to others is good, but only if it is not difficult for yourself; to know that concession is wisdom, but the other person must first be a wise man.
being too kind can make people look like parasites.
tolerating too much will encourage the other person to hurt your fangs.
besides, we should also open our eyes, read more, analyze more and think more.
is not warm on the surface is a good person, not sweet talk is sweet, sometimes heart-to-heart good to people, in exchange for pain and deceit.
people have ulterior motives, it is difficult for us to see them one by one, and more often, it takes time to verify.
but no matter how many bad people you have met and how many times you have faced darkness, you who want to be warm, always remember:
kindness is very important from beginning to end. It is a lamp in the dark. Both the giver and the receiver can find a bright way out.
like Havel's famous saying:
it is always right to be kind to the world.
it is only with measured goodwill that it is more suitable for the mixed world.