Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
I have reflected for a long time.
the father of the baby is a doctor of engineering in 985, and I have a master's degree in 985. I gave birth to a son at the best childbearing age of 27. The pregnancy was planned, and I ate folic acid and other nutrients in advance.
when I was three months pregnant, I asked for a long holiday from work. My parents-in-law came to cook three meals a day for me. I was only responsible for basking in the sun, walking and watching TV. I didn't even catch a cold during the whole pregnancy.
for the sake of my baby's health, I was pregnant for 10 months and never had a meal out, fearing that a drop of Sudan red in gutter oil would be bad for the child.
eugenics have reached the extreme, I think.
sure enough, my husband and I thought it must be a smart boy to live up to our efforts. My son was beautiful and healthy, and his big eyes flickered.
but since he was in primary school, all our pride soon fell short.
although we are reluctant to admit it, the truth is that my son's academic performance is not good.
there are generally two types of people who are easy to be remembered by teachers-high achiever and low achiever.
high achiever's parents bring their own fairy spirit every time they go to school, and their faces are full of self-confidence and brilliance.
however, as low achiever's mother, every time I go to school, I will sit quietly in the corner and deliberately choose some dark clothes for fear of attracting the attention of parents and teachers.
in order to keep up with my son's academic performance, I also signed him up for many tutoring classes and even hired one-on-one tutors to spend as much money as I could.
not only that, when my son goes to school during the day, I also follow the class schedule, facing various guidance books and videos at home, studying hard, trying to keep pace with my son's teaching, and tutoring my son in the evening.
I carefully analyze every Chinese text and brush through the Mathematical Olympiad. I used to know the same cage, drawer principle, and number theory that I didn't understand when I was a child.
since my son was in primary school, I often dreamt that I had taken the college entrance examination again.
when I woke up, I looked at the 100 questions of the Mathematical Olympiad on the bedside table and sighed a heavy sigh. this is the posture of taking the college entrance examination again.
but even so, my son's grades are still not good, and because I give him extra study every day, he stays up too late, doesn't have enough time for outdoor activities, drops his immunity, often catches a cold and has a fever, and wore myopic glasses in the fourth grade.
finally, I have to accept the fact that my child is really unqualified.
in fact, he is very obedient, and he has conscientiously completed all the learning tasks I assigned him.
that summer vacation, I signed him up for math and English tutoring classes, and my son unexpectedly said:
I felt distressed for a while. My son worked hard and obeyed, but he didn't study well. Is it his fault?
studying with my son for four years, I must admit that some people are really born to read, while others are not.
this is like some people are born to sing, some people can draw without a teacher, and some people can write poems since how old they are.
talent does exist.
I have seen a survey-in fact, low achiever spends more time on her studies.
I agree with this data, especially in junior high school and senior high school, everyone wants to learn well, but it backfired.
my husband and I finally understand that our two former high achiever really gave birth to a "low achiever" who is not good at learning, at least for now.
put aside anxiety, let go of comparisons and comparisons with other parents, I began to look at my son again, and I began to think calmly about the significance of learning.
in fact, what is the point of making our children study hard?
is nothing more than to make him have the ability to support himself and realize his life value and social value in the future.
but my son, he is industrious, sensible and kind-hearted, so why worry about having nothing to eat when he does an ordinary job in a down-to-earth way in the future?
my child, although he is not good at math and can hardly understand the Mathematical Olympiad, he likes to study cooking and has read all the cooking books I bought. He is only 10 years old and can already cook several decent meals.
my child, although he is not good at English and always forgets words and misspells, he is kind-hearted. When he enters the door of the building, when he sees someone behind him, he always holds the door with his small hand, waiting for the people behind to come in.
my child, although his Chinese is very bad and his composition is boring, he is filial to his parents and understands his parents' hard work.
that night, I had a cervical spondylosis and had a bad headache. My son said:
I fell into a deep sleep. For a long time, maybe my son finished his homework. He crept up to me and covered me with a quilt.
I have joined a lot of parent groups, in which parents chat day and night and are very anxious.
as soon as the parents of Niuwa high achiever appear on the stage, they all click "wow" and say:
for a long time, I also thought so. When I saw my unworthy son, I remembered this sentence: high achiever is here to repay favors, and low achiever is here to take revenge.
but now, I don't think so.
at the beginning of this semester, the class voted for cadres, and the head teacher said to me:
"go home and praise your son. Today, he bravely ran for the sports committee, and all 38 children in the class elected him.
at that time, four students competed for the publicity committee, and the others were all high achiever, who were in the top ten. "
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the head teacher also said:
"I didn't expect the result of the vote.
at that time, I asked the whole class why I chose him. The students were full of tongues. Some said that he was willing to help others, some said that he was cheerful and lively, and some said that he was very loyal. Who encountered difficulties, he was the first to stand up and help. "
listening to the head teacher, I was suddenly moved and proud of my son low achiever.
Yes, he is not good at all. He wags his tail in almost every exam.
however, isn't it a more valuable asset than academic achievement that he is content to be himself, love and love others, respect and respect others, and treat the people around him with a tolerant and cheerful heart?
since children read books, we are always used to using the only standard, study, to measure whether a child is good or bad.
this is wrong.
A child is a flower blooming slowly, how can it be evaluated so singularly?
We should not despise the ordinary, on the contrary, we should gladly accept it.
if you can be content with ordinary, healthy and happy to do a job you like, do not disobey your conscience or the principle of being a man, blossom and bear fruit on time, take every step of your life, and grow old safely.
I think this is actually the most successful way of life.
standing at the school gate after school that day, I watched my son running towards me smiling with his schoolbag on his back. He took a biscuit in his hand and said it was from the school at noon. He thought it was very delicious, so I saved one for my mother.
I was suddenly moved. I thought that my son would support himself when he grew up, no matter what he did.
after a day's work, he returned to his warm home to be a considerate husband and a responsible father. He was willing to take care of us patiently and accompany us when we were sick. Just grow up and get old.
I think this is actually the future that parents want their children to have the most.
whether the child is "high achiever" or "low achiever", it is unique in the world.
parents are anxious at the same time, you might as well change the perspective, maybe you will find different children.