Loneliness is inborn.
I feel lonely.
I find that I have a very strange characteristic, that is, only when I am alone can I think quietly and seriously recall what I have learned recently. Qunhuan is not bad, but in my opinion, it is a waste of time. When we get along with others, we must try to care about other people's feelings. For example, if my friend and I go to the cinema to see a movie, I can't directly buy a ticket for my favorite movie, because she doesn't necessarily like what I like. If I want her to bring up her interest in this film, I must first introduce to her how profound the plot is, how talented the director is, and how beautiful the lens is. After telling her a lot, she may refuse to watch the movie with you because of the boring reason of "the hero is not handsome enough". Do you think this is a waste of time?
but I am not a maverick in life. I hate to be alone, because we can't get rid of other people's opinions of ourselves in this day and age. The worst thing to say about a person is to say that he or she is "lonely".
but when I was in high school, I went to the canteen to eat alone in order to think alone. But whenever I sit down with a dish looking for a seat, one or two acquaintances greet me and enthusiastically ask me to sit in an empty seat next to them. I knew they asked me to sit with them not only because they wanted to talk to me, but also because they sympathized with me and thought I was too lonely to sit alone. So I made this bad plan to make me look like a person with friends to outsiders.
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I know they are well-intentioned, so I can only talk to them about useless gossip while thinking about the process of chemistry with only a few IQ left. As a result, in the first year of the third year of high school, I really had only 50 or 60 times to eat alone. Although those 50 or 60 times of thinking did not help me much in my college entrance examination results, they gave me a deep understanding of my way of thinking. I have tried to hate those group activities, because in the "rabble", the group is the abbreviation of a pile of rubbish. But in fact, I can't break away from the group, because I enjoy the pleasure of celebrating with others, the superiority of beating others in the game, and the feeling of arguing with others. These nostalgia for the group, I was destined to be a person who went with the tide, but in my heart, I didn't want to be just a person who went with the tide, so I had to get through 12:00 at night, change from a wolf to a man like a werewolf, and become the wishful thinking of myself.
in the middle of the night, my thoughts slow down, not at all as fast as during the day. I remember writing my resume alone in the hospital at 03:00 in the middle of the night. The night passed slowly and the air around me became thinner. I remember wearing the down of my roommate, holding the case in one hand and the paper cup given to me by the nurse in the other, walking to the injection room I was most afraid of when I was a child. I thought about a lot of things that night. Eighteen years of life experience appeared in my mind like a movie, and it took me hours to fabricate the eighteen years after that. I thought about the relationship between the future and the past like Matthew in Star Trek.
suddenly, a lyric of Eason Chan sounded in the headphones: "the sunset is brilliant and beautiful, but it is a pity that it is close to dusk." Suddenly I felt that I was getting old, as if I had seen through the true meaning of life and realized that no matter how hard people tried, I ended up sitting alone on the edge of the cliff of life watching the sun on behalf of life slowly set, and then I fell asleep hanging glucose.
I think everyone is born with loneliness, because we come from our mother's completely closed environment to an unlimited world, how can we not be afraid of loneliness? The existence of moments, Weibo and INS is the best proof. Indeed, everyone doesn't have sense of security, which is why we huddle together and want to stand in line on hot issues. But everyone wants to be a maverick, because it means no fear, no concern, and naturally nothing can make him sad.
it is not difficult to understand why the highest state of Zen is not "I control everything", but "I know I can't control anything".