Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
I have seen such a question: "Why do some people seem commonplace? whenever there are difficulties, there will always be people who will take the initiative to help solve the difficulties."
but some people are obviously very popular, but when there are any difficulties, no one is willing to lend a helping hand to him. "
below there is a highly praised answer:
Yes, everything in the world has cause and effect, and others will not treat you for nothing, nor will they treat you badly for no reason.
as Hearon Bokambo once said in the way of Silence:
"there is nothing in the world without cause and effect, and everything that happens is the result of many causal relationships."
what you do, what you think, is quietly affecting your life, and all seemingly unexpected things can be traced.
emotion is the result of the heart.
there is a question on Zhihu: "Why do feelings rely on getting along?"
there are different answers, but one answer moved me:
it is true.
Aunt Zhang, a neighbor, complains that daughter-in-law is not good to her and doesn't come to see her.
when she heard that Aunt Lin's daughter-in-law in the neighborhood was very kind to Aunt Lin and asked Aunt Lin to move in together, she also came up with the idea of living with her son and told her son the idea.
I thought her son's family would welcome her very much, but I didn't want daughter-in-law to find an apartment for her in the same neighborhood and let Aunt Zhang live alone.
Aunt Zhang was particularly aggrieved and sad, crying everywhere: "Why doesn't my daughter-in-law live with me? why are you doing this to me?"
as the saying goes, today's circumstances are all determined by what she has done in the past, and Aunt Zhang is not treated in the cold for no reason.
usually, Aunt Zhang doesn't like daughter-in-law very much.
No matter how much daughter-in-law cares about her, she often turns a blind eye to her, often picking bones from eggs and talking about daughter-in-law in front of others.
if this goes on, Aunt Zhang's daughter-in-law will naturally stay away from Aunt Zhang, so how can she get along with her attentively again?
Mr. Qian Zhongshu once said in besieged Fortress:
the same is true of the relationship between people. All the feelings between people come from the relationship between you and me.
in the Sahara Desert, Sanmao shared his experience with Srawians in the Sahara Desert.
when he first arrived in the desert, Sanmao didn't like to socialize with his neighbors. Except when giving medicine to his neighbors, the door was closed all the time.
but the neighbors were particularly interested in what she brought, and often came to borrow things, so the door of Sanmao's house opened and closed.
and since 9 o'clock every morning, children keep coming to ask for things:
"my brother said he wanted to borrow a light bulb."
"my mother says she wants an onion."
"my father wants a bottle of gasoline."
"We want cotton."
"give me a hair dryer."
"lend my sister your iron."
"I need some nails and a little bit of wire."
at first, Sanmao was angry that her neighbors often took the trouble to borrow things from her and Jose, and often did not return them, or even asked for them.
but for a long time, Sanmao didn't hate them so much and fell in love with them, saying, "thanks to these neighbors, my desert days are colorful by them, and I don't know what it's like to be lonely anymore."
feelings are often like poverty, cough, and love cannot be hidden.
in a relationship, if one person doesn't pay attention to the other, the other can feel it, even if they get along day and night, they can't have a real relationship without a heart.
instead of complaining that others are not nice to you and not in love with others, ask yourself if you are sincere to others.
the heart warms slowly
once heard such a saying:
similarly, the iron tree will blossom, and the heart can slowly warm up.
in the hit drama "in the name of the Family," Ling Xiao is very withdrawn and indifferent to the people around him. He is often indifferent to the goodwill of Li Jianjian and Li Haichao.
when Li Jianjian happily took a large basket of walnuts to Lingxiao, he was pushed to the ground by Lingxiao and closed the door ferociously.
every time his parents quarrel, Ling Xiao will sit at the top of the stairs reading comic books and wait for his parents to go home after the quarrel.
when Li Jianjian sees Ling Xiao, he will kindly invite him to his home to play, and Li Haichao will also invite Ling Xiao to eat at home.
when Li Jianjian saw other children bullying and bullying the sky, he rushed up to fight with other children without saying a word, protecting Ling Xiao.
the enthusiasm of the Li father and daughter, like a ray of warm light, dispelled the gloom at the bottom of the sky, and the door of the heart that had been closed for a long time was gradually opened for them, and he began to accept the Li father and daughter, even if they were not related by blood, but better than relatives.
do not ask for a heart for a heart, but for a heart to warm the heart.
Kong Zhiyong said in the melting pot:
this is true.
in the Book of morality, there is a saying: "if you want to take it, you must give it first."
if you want to get something, you have to give something first. If you want others to warm your heart, then you need to learn to warm other people's heart first.
although human hearts are separated by layers of skin, we are not worms in each other's stomach, and we never know what each other is thinking, but the human heart is not a hard stone, and no one can be indifferent to a person who warms himself with his heart.Heart.
getting along with others is just a warm heart.
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what you have is all because you cherish enough
once saw the topic on Douban: "Why cherish it before you have it?"
one of them replied:
after reading this answer, I felt sad, and I couldn't help thinking of the story of my friend Jia Jia, who divorced after less than two years of marriage.
after marriage, Jiajia's husband is hot and cold to Jiajia.
but no matter how tired or busy Jiajia is, she always gets up early to make breakfast for her husband, but her husband either doesn't look at it and goes straight to work, or blames Jiajia for not doing it to his taste.
on Jiajia's husband's birthday, Jiajia bought his favorite limited edition sneakers after all kinds of relationships, and he had already fantasized about the appearance of his husband's delight at seeing the gift for countless times.
but when her husband received the gift, instead of being overjoyed, he said casually while watching TV, "I don't like this brand of sneakers for a long time."
Jiajia was so disappointed that she found a new house and moved out the next day, and asked for a divorce.
it suddenly dawned on her husband that after he got married, he did not cherish Jiajia's kindness to him.
all the gifts in life have already been secretly marked with a price, and he tries his best to save Jiajia, but Jiajia refuses to divorce.
sometimes, it is not daily trivialities, infidelity and bloodshed that defeat marriage, but it is precisely the lack of cherish of one of them.
Li Gongjun once said: "you don't cherish it until you lose it, but you don't lose it if you cherish it."
No one should always be kind to you. Only by learning to cherish the goodness of others can you have the goodness of others.
in real life, there are many people like Jia Jia's husband who think that the other person's heart is here, so they are so committed to themselves that they do not cherish each other well, and only wake up when the other person has left, only to find that it is too late.
the fate between people is very delicate, sometimes in a flash, if you do not cherish it, no matter how deep the fate is, it will be exhausted one day.
as Zhou Guoping once said, "to cherish is fate, and fate is in treasure."
what you have is because you cherish it enough.
if you are alive, you must learn to cherish it before you can have it.
all joys have cause and effect.
I strongly agree with what Wang Han said:
as you get older and experience, you become more aware that all joys in this world have cause and effect, and all the joys you have come because of you.
the reason why you have good popularity is inseparable from the fact that you usually get along with others, warm your heart, and know how to cherish the kindness of others to you.
as Lin Yutang once said:
Please believe that every joy you give to others today will pave the way for all the causation you will have in the future.
for the rest of our lives, may we spend more time with others and become a good person who warms others and cherishes them.
encourage each other.